Saturday, May 14, 2022

Damning up Your Writing Flow Part 2

 See https://velvetdelenn.blogspot.com/2016/04/damning-up-your-writing-flow.html for part 1!


Part 2 of Damning up Your Writing Flow

In part one, I spoke about how data dumps and repetition can ruin the flow of a story.  I went over the concepts on the surface without really touching on how to avoid them, or how to fix them.  Or even how to recognize them.  My bad.   But it’s too much of a topic to have in one blog, so I decided to break it down so that it’s in more manageable chunks.  So today’s blog is focusing on the data dump, and next will be the repetition.  I will use examples that I have come up with, and not ones from actual published groups, without getting into trouble with copyright.  

The Data Dump.  


First off, the Data Dump is basically putting all of your character info all in one place, which slows down the pacing of the story.

John was a tall 6 foot 4 man, with long brown hair, bedroom brown eyes, and a scar running down the length of his face.  He usually wore brown khakis and a blue shirt, with a pocket protector, and a pin stripe tie.  His close cropped hair was more for ease of taking care of than actual style.  He grew up in Cleveland Ohio, the middle child of six, his older brothers Robert, and Richard, along with his younger sister Maggie, and younger brother Sam had had a happy childhood.  Their parents were Sam and Rita Johnson, and were both retired.  His father had been a security guard, and his mother a nurse at the Trinity Local Hospital.  His older brothers were solicitors and his younger siblings were teachers and he, well he was a serial killer.  

Okay so that last was to wake you up, to make you pay attention.  Did you nod off?  Did you follow the details, or try to skip ahead?  This is very pedantic boring writing.  I’m even fighting off the yawns!  

Good writing gives you just enough details to set the scene, to give you an image of the character.  It only gives enough to get the story interesting and dynamic.

So rewriting this, we don’t need to know about most of these details, They can be done as a general description.  And start out with a bang, so you get your reader immediately engaged.  Two lessons for the price of one :)  

John was a serial killer. Though to look at him, you wouldn’t think so.  He looked like a college professor, over 6 feet, cropped blond hair, brown eyes that brimmed full of intelligence.  He came from a good family, a mix of Lawyers and nurses, he was the only one to turn out bad.  

So you see there, by leaving things vague, it has been punched up, made lively and active by just a few of the details that were from the first example.  The former example is fine, for a first draft, and it helps make a character bible (more on that in later issues).

It carries the story, and engages the reader immediately, no falling asleep there (disclaimer, yours truly does not take responsibility for keeping you up at night reading, and making you oversleep so that you and already established earlier in the work later, well it takes me out of the story.  Taking you out of the story makes it harder for one to get back into the story.  You want to make your reader want to finish it in one setting, and/or stay up at night!

Repetition can be used for great effect, I’ve used it in poetry (which is a bit more acceptable at times).  But it should be used very sparingly, if you use it at all.  If there is a way to do so with different wording, then that would be the best thing.  Using repetition sounds almost like you are writing a grocery list.

So examples of repetition.

Using poor John again, yea, Serial Killer John.  But he loves cats, so he can’t be all bad, or can he? Muwahahaha.  

John got up in the morning, putting on his work clothes.  His work clothes consisted of; black jeans, black t shirt and he wore black ski mask, and black tennis shoes.  He put his tools in his black tool belt, and they all had black handles.  He took pride in his work.  

So the changes would be to minimize the use of the word black.  Lump together the details of  his clothes.

John got up in the morning, putting on his work clothes.  Which consisted of, jeans, t-shirt, tennis shoes and ski mask, all in black.  He put his matching color tools in his a batman tool belt.  He took pride in his work, nothing but professional.

There we have all of the clothes mentioned followed by the color.  Got rid of the second clothes as well by using the “which consisted of…”

The above are just rough examples of how to see what I’m talking about, and examples on how to fix these.  The writing is much smoother, don’t you think?  

When I wrote my first chapter of Stormraevyn, I worked all the visual details in as sources of actions.  Like describing Miranda's hair as she flipped it over her shoulder.  The other details I worked in as I described her first change into the Raven.  So you can work things in almost as separate characters.  

There is a few things that can enhance a story or kill it. Too many details can do that, and too many at one time can bring your story to a screaming halt.

When you work them into the action, you get a good picture/image in your head of what your character looks like, without sacrificing flow, or stopping action.  The flow is what brings your reader along with you, and the story evolves naturally.  Can you break flow?  Breaking flow can be done.  I tried to think of a story that was effectively told that way.  I came up with Memento, which I saw as a movie.  The story is told in chunks of time, the main character suffered injuries which caused his brain damage.  His long term memory was gone, and was only able to remember fifteen minutes at a time.  He is trying to solve the mystery of who killed his wife, and he would tattoo his skin, so that he would remember the flow, or not stop it.  

Take this following example.  

The woman's heels clicked on the tile floor, as her red sequined dress floated around her ankles. The gentle swish of the beading on the bottom of the dress alerted the Ushers of her coming closer. They smiled and pulled the door open, she smiled and thanked them as she passed through. He would be waiting for her..  

Typically the term flow to me, means that you can read it without being halted. It’s the ease with which the story is read.

Think about all the stories that you have loved reading.  The common denominator isn’t just great characters, settings, or plots; it’s the ease in which you read things.  The flow is what makes the story enjoyable, and memorable, you don’t think about it, you don’t really notice it’s there, and you really shouldn’t see it either.  

Opening paragraph maybe?  

As a writer, reading has been ruined for me.  As a writer, I pick apart the work that I’m reading, and I can’t just step back and read for pleasure like I used to.  If I’m lucky, I can put that on hold for a bit, and that is when a story is enjoyable for me.  If I have to pick it apart and stop and reread portions of what I had just read, the flow has been interrupted.  

Flow is the story.  It’s what tells the story, putting the characters through the plot, the setting, the whole kit and caboodle.  Without flow, you wouldn’t have a story, you’d have a mishmash of the bare bones, stilted and awkward.  It’s the mark of a professional writer.

Flow is hard to achieve at times.  It doesn’t come naturally .  It takes rewrites, edits, and elbow grease to get it to that point. 

If someone is asking, “Does this sound right?” or “I think that something is missing, but I can’t put my finger on it.” Then you are most likely talking about flow.





Friday, March 11, 2022

Happy Birthday to Me!

 Today is my 57th Birthday...or as I like to say, the 17th Anniversary of my 40th Birthday!  I say Anniversary, as the last truly great birthday was my 40th.  I had just gotten out of a hellacious 30's and finally healing from my rape in 1994. Finally able to get beyond that, was the high point of my life.  Now it's a struggle from day to day, and health issues from heck!  Though I'm starting to level out my diabetes, I'm still getting UTI's and Kidney infections too.  I really am not liking the issues that are going on.  

On the good side, I'm making progress on 1000 Cranes, my Haiku collection.  I will share my cover later...but will mention my cover designer here.  Ashwords Design(s?).  Ed did a fabulous job on it.  And I am so excited to get moving ahead on this project.  Hoping he will be able to do the formatting for me as well.

Other projects I'm going to be working on are anthologies that I'm part of the publishing teams on.  So I'll post about those too.  I'm trying to be accountable to myself and others too.  It's hard to be focused on one project at a time, when I have several irons in the fire.  

So stay tuned for more stuff coming.  April is also Camp NaNoWriMo month (July is the next camp).  So trying to figure out what to do for that.  Maybe one of those anthology projects?  Then the next for July.  With camp, you can set your own goal (not just in words, but pages, hours).  I tend to use them for editing though.  Setting my goals in hours.

One last thing; my thoughts and prayers go out to the people of the Ukraine.  I hope that the idiot in Russia pulls out soon, and leaves them alone.  It's not right.


Tuesday, March 1, 2022

Long Time No See

 Hey there,

Sorry it's been a very long time since I last posted a blog.  I've been really trying to get things done writing wise, and publishing wise.  Lots of new things coming up!  I've also been helping finish edits and formatting other anthologies to get out the door, and into readers hands!  

I wish there were enough hours in the day, and enough clones of me to be able to do everything I need to do.  I've also been working full time for Victoria's Secret in their warehouse here in Ohio.  I am a handler which is a fancy term for lifting heavy boxes.  It's really kept me in good shape!  

This is been a very stressful time as well, my health has not been the greatest as of late.  Though it's looking up now.  Good news on the Diabetes front!  So I'm very thankful that I have a great new doctor.  She is AWESOME!

Stay tuned for upcoming announcements!

My kitty for your viewing pleasure.  



Saturday, October 23, 2021

BOO!

 I hadn't realized it's been a very long time since I last wrote you all.  I have been having a lot going on in between.  And just have been focusing on it, and writing.  I have had some stuff published as well, and will write about that later.  

I'm very sorry that I haven't been around to update you.  I hope to get in the practice of doing a month of posts (scheduled) so that I won't have to work so hard.  I actually have been working full time at Victorias Secret Warehouse, where I lift heavy boxes pretty much every day.  Also have been taking care of my brother who fell at the end of September 2021 and dealing with trying to get a car as ours was totaled? by an accident with a pedestrian.  I couldn't stop, but I'm dealing as best I can with the fall out.  She is okay, and as she was not in the crosswalk, she received a citation.  Running out in front of three lanes of running traffic, is not a good idea.  I think she is okay, but not sure.

Getting ready for NaNoWriMo the only positive in the last few months.  I look forward to participating remotely with my area.  No in person events for it this year.  Bloody Covid!

I'll let you go for now.  Thank you for your support and understanding!!!!!!



Thursday, September 3, 2020

Gaming as a Writing Tool

 Gaming as a Writing Tool

If you find yourself stuck for story ideas, and you play role-playing games, (RPG’s) can be a great source of materials for short stories, and/or novels.
My introduction to gaming was a campaign from White Wolf called, “Vampire: The Masquerade.” A group of friends and roommates played, and they taught me. I had not started writing in earnest then. My first character was a clanless vamp by the name of Veronica Harker. She was a witch who put a spell on another vampire, compelling him to bite her (and thus turn her). It created a hate/hate dynamic between the two. He hated her for making him turn her, and she hated that she had to respond to his “call,” when he needed her. He also hated himself as he succumbed to her spell. They did come to grudging respect, however, over the centuries.
Her sire Lord Bloodstone came to the realization that her skills were an asset. At this point is where our campaign began. On a side note, one of my favorite lines from the campaign was someone said, “You can’t swing a dead cat around without hitting one of them Bloodstone Boys!” Our territory was in Kentucky if I remember correctly.
When I began writing regularly again (beyond just poetry), I saw that gaming helped with various aspects of storytelling. And that is what an RPG is, a live storytelling. Character creation, World Building, Plot, all are vital in running a successful campaign/game, and if you have a good GM/DM, they are good at creating the story in which your characters play in.
Each character has a sheet, with their “Stats,” this is something like a character sheet for writing. Stealth, Strength, Stamina, Charisma (how charming your vamp is to get what they need/want), as well as physical characteristics. Talents are another area where this is vital for a game. Each level in the stat adds dice to your roll as well.
In Vampire, each “Clan,” has attributes/skills that are particular for each one. Ventrue, the blue bloods, are the high society folks, the Nosferatu are the 180-degree opposites (ugly and vile), Clanless (can’t remember the name they were given), Malkavian, Tremere, and a few others. For the Malkavian I played in a live game once (or Live Action Role Playing-LARP), my particular insanity was I thought I was Dot from the Animaniacs. I was going around to people saying, “Hi, I’m Dot, I’m cute.” My friend Mark just shook his head, started to say something, then just shook his head again.
For settings, WW came up with sourcebooks for campaigns in different parts of the world. London England, Washington DC, were just a couple of them. You also got a feel for research as well. These details made your campaign more realistic. Details such as governments, cultures, religions were used to enrich the story.
My favorite part was Character Creation. Building the history/backstory for my character was really awesome. She was from the 1300’s England, so I actually had some fun researching that time period, and actually creating her backstory made it easy to write “Fiction,” about her too. It was just a short leap to doing so.
If you enjoy creating a world where vampires exist, or sword and sorcery is your thing, I highly recommend role-playing games. It’s so much fun, and creative as well. Enjoy.

Wanda D. Hargrove and Christine Kwasniewski

Sunday, June 9, 2019

Sorry I've been silent for a while...

Dear Reader,

I'm so sorry I haven't posted in a while.  I started a warehouse job which wears me out, and I've been trying to keep up with writing deadlines.  I do have some blog posts almost ready though, and probably will be doing the scheduling thing so I won't have to worry about it.

I would like to thank you all for your support throughout the years, and I hope to be in better contact in the future. 

I'll catch you on the flip side :)


Peace out.

L. Anne Wooley

Sunday, December 30, 2018

My Last Post...of 2018!

Normally I eschew writing year end letters to family.  AKA “The Bragging Letters.”
Mostly as I thought they were on the pretentious side, and glossed over the lives of the family (made them seem like the Cleavers...okay I’m old. But I did watch them in reruns).
But here I am writing a pretentious bragging letter.  My kids? Don’t have any biological ones. Though I have one furbaby, and I am a fur auntie to a bird and dog.  Though my literary children bloomed.
This year was the birth of my bouncing  baby pen name! Lorna Woulfe honors both sides of my family.  Lorna for my maternal Grandmother, who I found out long after her death, was also a writer.  Her father was also a poet (and I’m very lucky to have his book). Woulfe honors my father's side.  Woulfe is what Wooley is derived from, according to a researcher (have not had a chance to corroborate that information.  
In June “Pride Park” was released.  In honor of the Pulse Nightclub shooting, many people came together.  Members of the LGBTQ community and allies, put together this incredible collection.  I edited and wrote the foreward. Also, with the help of another, took the projects reins and brought it across the finish line.  Proceeds go to The Trevor Project for at risk LGBTQI+ youth. (https://www.thetrevorproject.org/)  It was a labor of love, and I was extremely honored to work on this one.


Pride Park is under my previous pennish name L. Anne Wooley.  

My first two credits under Lorna Woulfe are in two anthologies, both published in October 2018.  “Cracks in the Tapestry,” which also brought my first five star review, and “42 & Beyond.”
“Cracks in the Tapestry,” features my poem on the back cover! (another first), and basically covers the theme of the anthology.  The reviewer said how the entries inside all fit the theme very well.



Link to all four volumes of “42 & Beyond:”


My contribution is in Vol. 1


I believe this volume reached #5 on Amazon's best sellers list!  Another first. 42 & Beyond is a tribute to Douglas Adams who actually shared my birthday (though he was first).  

So there you have it! 2018 was great in so many ways professionally. 2019 will see more publications and I’ll be promoting those as they come out.  And hopefully it will be onward and upward. Happy New Year friends!